Hello, from your old new friend, David Cross (August 25, 2016)
Hello! Yes and so, welcome to my first email list newsletter thing. You are receiving this because somewhere down the line, whether it was for Hits or the 2016 stand up tour or perhaps something else along the way, you foolishly gave me your email address. Well guess what, I fucking got you! First things first, I’m taking your insurance away and signing you up for Obamacare! Haha!!!!
I assume you know about my fancy new website right? It's www.OfficialDavidCross.com. I am introducing it here in all its new found glory (remember them? I think they toured with Hoobastank and Goldfinger. Is that right?). The website has all kinds of fun stuff on there, newsletters, ramblings, recipes, crocheting and/or sewing patterns, a store, life hacks for new shoe owners, tips for parents of albinos, all kinds of shit. In fact, if you look hard enough, you’ll find a link to some signed tour posters as well as a poster from Hits. And we’ll be adding stuff as we go.
Also I am putting together my own YouTube channel so please subscribe to that as well. I’ll be posting exclusive and unique content to that if that’s the kind of thing that, “floats your boat” (for those that follow me on Twitter, you already know I’m trying to bring that phrase back and make it popular amongst the millennials). If it doesn’t “float your boat” (what a fun phrase!!!) then fuck you.
I will be using this to send out any updates on appearances both three dimensional or two dimensional, or anything else I think y’all might be interested in. For instance, are you amongst the Los Angeles area? Are you into fancy books and book people? Well then please join my amazing wife and I as we co-host (although she will only be getting 72% to my 100% of the credit as she’s a woman) the 26th Annual Pen Literary Awards. A prestigious literary to-do that will require me to wear clothing that I’m not comfortable wearing (bedazzled bow ties and such). But before that I’ll be on “Conan” on the 30th. And “Chelsea” on Netflix. And some NPR thing.
I’ll also be updating you on whatever projects I’m currently working on. For instance, I’m off to London again in a couple of weeks where I will be casting for a new show I’m doing on Sky. I’m not acting in it, just writing and directing. Can’t get into any details just yet but it’s a bit of a departure as it’s not straight up comedy. Darker than my usual stories but still comic. Fuck, that’s too much already. Anyway, it's meant to entertain but engender discussion. How’s that? Great? Great. Also, and it bears repeating, Making America Great Again! Is currently streaming on Netflix. Watch it and take sides! Loving you, David