Dispatches From The Front Lines: A Quick Hello from The Road (July 11, 2018)

Dispatches From The Front Lines: A Quick Hello from The Road (July 11, 2018)

Hey guys, checking in after a couple of weeks into the tour.

Started in New England where a lady and her date brought their two sons to sit in the front row of the Boston show. These kids were like 9 years old. What?! If you've seen the show you know that I have a whole bit about getting a colonic that has, let's say, a bit of "performance" to it. Who brings nine year olds to a comedy show?! Pretty fucking cool parents that's who! While I would never do it for fear of being arrested and having my children taken by the authorities, I reluctantly admit those kids are now schooled in several areas where innocence might have been preferred. But what do I know? 

After New England we knocked out the Pacific Northwest, Portland and Seattle always (and I do mean always) are/were great shows. Those were so much fun and I ended up riffing a bunch of stuff in that Portland show that is now permanently in the set. Also my daughter had a lot of fun going to the park and playing with the junkies. Good stuff Portland! Then, after a fun show in Spokane it was on to Vancouver. The Vancouver show was "meh" (not bad but not great but I think that had more to do with the venue than either me or the audience) but I was happy to go to Granville Island and stock up on smoked salmon jerky which I like to open up on the bus and then forget about it until days later when it starts to putrefy.

Had a GREAT time in western and central Canada. That was a great run and I now have a new 10 to 15 minutes just for my Canadian friends. I will be hitting MontrealOttawaand Torontoat the end of the monthand these jokes and bits will self-destruct one hour after I leave Canadian soil, never to be seen or heard from again. Get them while you can Canada! 

Oh! And the experiences with Immigration between entering Canada and re-entering the U.S. (after the Canada run we are now in the mid-west. Minneapolis tonight, Madison on Thursday, Milwaukee on Friday, etc) could not have been more different. Night and Day. Going into Canada, greeted by smiles and general pleasantries. Zero hassle. They scanned the passports, asked a few questions, checked the bus and we were on our way. Going back into the U.S. (with a cute little baby mind you and an American baby at that. A citizen with her own passport in other words) no smiles, shitty attitudes and just general curt, severe exchanges "Stay back behind the line sir!!!". Certainly not welcoming in any way (until we were cleared and waiting for the paperwork to be finalized when they started acting like normal human beings with smiles and one guy even saying he was a huge fan and loved, "Run Ronnie Run" - but by this point we had already been there for 15 minutes or so. Oh, and also we were the only ones there! You could not ask for a more perfect representation of our two countries right now. *Sigh* 

Anyway here is a photo (above) of my assistant helping me sort through all the love letters I need to write to the good people of most of Western & Central Canada after those fantastic, fun shows. You made this American asshole feel very welcome, thank you (even though you burned the White House down). Hopefully I'll see you guys down the road. Midwest here I is!


David Cross OH COME ON 2018 World Tour

July 11 - Pantages Theatre- Minneapolis, MNBUY TICKETS
July 12- Orpheum Theatre- Madison, WIBUY TICKETS
July 13- Pabst Theater- Milwaukee, WIBUY TICKETS
July 14- Egyptian Room at Old National Centre - Indianapolis, INBUY TICKETS
July 15- Royal Oak Music Theatre - Royal Oak, MIBUY TICKETS
July 23 - House Of Independents - Asbury Park, NJBUY TICKETS
July 25- L’Olympia - Montreal, QCBUY TICKETS
July 26- Algonquin Commons Theatre - Ottawa, ONBUY TICKETS
July 27- Danforth Music Hall - Toronto, ONBUY TICKETS
July 29- Agora Theatre and Ballroom - Cleveland, OHBUY TICKETS
July 30- Jo Ann Davidson Theatre - Columbus, OHBUY TICKETS
July 31- Carnegie of Homestead Music Hall - Munhall, PABUY TICKETS
August 1- Modell Performing Arts Center - Baltimore, MDBUY TICKETS
August 2- Warner Theatre - Washington, DCBUY TICKETS
August 3- The Paramount Theater - Charlottesville, VABUY TICKETS
August 4- Carpenter Theatre - Richmond, VABUY TICKETS
August 6 - Knight Theater - Charlotte, NCBUY TICKETS
August 7- Carolina Theatre of Durham - Durham, NCBUY TICKETS
August 8- The Orange Peel - Asheville, NC BUY TICKETS
August 8 (late show)- The Orange Peel - Asheville, NCBUY TICKETS
August 9- Brown Theatre - Louisville, KYBUY TICKETS
August 10- James K. Polk Theater at TPAC - Nashville, TNBUY TICKETS
August 11- Atlanta Symphony Hall - Atlanta, GABUY TICKETS
August 16- Orpheum Theatre - Phoenix, AZBUY TICKETS
August 17- The Observatory North Park - San Diego, CABUY TICKETS
August 18- The Orpheum- Los Angeles, CA BUY TICKETS
August 20 - The Fox Theatre - Oakland, CA BUY TICKETS
August 22- Kingsbury Hall - Salt Lake City, UTBUY TICKETS
August 23- Boulder Theater - Boulder, COBUY TICKETS
August 24- High Plains Comedy Festival -  Denver, CO BUY TICKETS
August 25- Arvest Bank Theatre at The Midland - Kansas City, MOBUY TICKETS
August 26- Holland Performing Arts Center - Omaha, NEBUY TICKETS